So, my baby is 3 months. THREE MONTHS. I am is this strange vortex/vacuum where time is so slow, yet so fast... where it seems that some things are NEVER going to change, and others have already changed too much...
I have to admit, while my baby is cuter than ever, there is a great deal of semi-sadness in my heart as I look at how much he has already grown from that teeny little perfect new baby I held in my arms just three months ago. I don't want him to grow up so fast!
Still, the recent changes, yesterday and today especially, have been really fun.
*We got him a new toy where you press various farm animals' pictures and they make sounds and little songs. We showed it to him and he was entranced... And then we put it in front of him while we held him on our laps and he unclenched his hands from each other (see first photo-- this is his favorite hand position: clenched together, in his mouth), laid them on the board, and slowly moved them around. By the end of our play session, he was getting the cow and the pig and the chick to make noises regularly! (Much of his motions were still random and jerky, but his hands were ON THE BOARD... not in his mouth. So I think he has making some conscious effort.)
*today he took amazing naps EVERY time.
*today he babbled and charmed anyone within 2 feet of him, "talking" more than ever...to the Masons, to Aunt Beckie, to us...
*today he took a bath, loving it as usual, but then when we took him out, he didn't SCREAM and wail and sob like he usually does. He was downright pleasant!
He IS growing. He IS developing some skills.
But he is getting so big and so strong and so lively... and sometimes I want to go back to those surreal, peaceful, gentle days in the hospital after the delivery... where it was just me and Joe and this little swaddled bundle of baby... time was inconsequential, the days were blurry and euphoric and NEW...And this new little being was so perfectly small and sweet and celestial and fresh...
Having this baby has been the single most remarkable miracle of my life... And I want to stand still in it, and savor it... Just a little longer.
So of course I'll love my Noah, more and more. It's just a heartrending, bittersweet, exquisite joy to have him and watch him grow...and grow... and grow.
Can't I just have a few more moments of the newborn Noah?
I have to admit, while my baby is cuter than ever, there is a great deal of semi-sadness in my heart as I look at how much he has already grown from that teeny little perfect new baby I held in my arms just three months ago. I don't want him to grow up so fast!
Still, the recent changes, yesterday and today especially, have been really fun.*We got him a new toy where you press various farm animals' pictures and they make sounds and little songs. We showed it to him and he was entranced... And then we put it in front of him while we held him on our laps and he unclenched his hands from each other (see first photo-- this is his favorite hand position: clenched together, in his mouth), laid them on the board, and slowly moved them around. By the end of our play session, he was getting the cow and the pig and the chick to make noises regularly! (Much of his motions were still random and jerky, but his hands were ON THE BOARD... not in his mouth. So I think he has making some conscious effort.)
*today he took amazing naps EVERY time.
*today he babbled and charmed anyone within 2 feet of him, "talking" more than ever...to the Masons, to Aunt Beckie, to us...
*today he took a bath, loving it as usual, but then when we took him out, he didn't SCREAM and wail and sob like he usually does. He was downright pleasant!
He IS growing. He IS developing some skills.
But he is getting so big and so strong and so lively... and sometimes I want to go back to those surreal, peaceful, gentle days in the hospital after the delivery... where it was just me and Joe and this little swaddled bundle of baby... time was inconsequential, the days were blurry and euphoric and NEW...And this new little being was so perfectly small and sweet and celestial and fresh...
Having this baby has been the single most remarkable miracle of my life... And I want to stand still in it, and savor it... Just a little longer.So of course I'll love my Noah, more and more. It's just a heartrending, bittersweet, exquisite joy to have him and watch him grow...and grow... and grow.
Can't I just have a few more moments of the newborn Noah?
5 comments:
I've said this before, but I am just reminded again what a miracle "normal development" is. Working as I do with some students who *still* don't explore a sound making box - even randomly - it is so amazing and fun to hear about Noah's explorations (and so bittersweet on my end not to be waved at or babbled at- like lucky Beckie is... :-)
Everyone at work, though, agrees that he just keeps getting cuter and cuter. Thanks for so many pictures.
Love you guys
Julina
(I can only post anonymously at the office computer, but it's better than nothing)
that time can move soooo slow and so freakin' fast at the same time is what amazes me most about motherhood. keep up the good work!
I so understand and agree with what you said. You're excited for their developments and milestones, but sad to see the younger version of your baby fade away. But, there is a positive side to the difficulties of seeing them grow...things like: hearing them say, "I love you Mama," and watching them do things for the very first time. They are priceless treasures (that do grow WAY too fast)! Just remember, newborn baby Noah didn't look into your eyes and smile at you so lovingly (yet). :)
Oh how I remember those first bittersweet feelings of being enthrawled and amazed by the "new baby" before you and at the same time all choked up by the passing of the milestones that are fading (or worse yet, gone forever)....
The first really profound moment of that for me was at about 6 mo., when I, for the 1st time, spent time boxing up the [premie] & newborn size clothes...choked up by "loss" of my precious newborn and at the same time, ever so greatfull for the growing developing baby before me. And...completely overwhelmed and amazed by the continuous growth of the feelings of "love" that welled up inside me as I watched every move...when you feel more than you ever thought was possible, can't believe that there could posssibly be "room" for those feelings to grow even bigger, when it happens...you litterally EXPLODE, from the inside with even more Joy, Happiness and Love.... As you are discovering, it is an absolutely unbelievably AMAZING journey that you have embarked on....Continue to enjoy the journey (and thanks for having shared in mine, when we were at this stage...You are a forever part of our hearts)
I cherish you so much (and feel so blessed to be able to share this time w/ you (and Noah) through your beautiful, eloquently "blogged words.
I love you, my very special ("little sister") friend
I found your blog on your babycenter post. Your pictures are absolutely amazing! I have a little Noah who shares your Noah's birthday. I feel the exact same way as you do. This precious time in my little family's life is going way too fast. However, I am not able to express my feelings as gracefully as you do. You are a truly gifted writer. Your baby is so adorable and your sweet family reminds me of my own.
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